Strive on with Diligence

Happy Bunny Day!

2011-04-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

It's all possible

2011-04-23T15:00:00.000-07:00

I've had this as my personal mantra for some time, but circumstances and events in my life had let me forget about it. I had several things lately that have put this back in the forefront of my mind. It is all possible. It may not be possible right this moment, but by keeping my goals in mind, not giving up when there are setbacks, accepting the encouragement from my friends and family and a keeping a focused determination to achieve my goals I know I can do it.

I don't have any rose colored glasses on (smashed them to bits a while ago) and realize that my goals will not just drop in my lap. I have my goals laid out in front of me. It's all possible. I am a persistent and some may say stubborn (but in a good way, right?). These goals are range from public to very private goals. But all of my goals are linked in someway. I know people that need to tell everyone their goals, either they feel the need for people to know or that they need others to know to help hold them accountable for achieving those goals. I am a bit of a mix of telling people and not telling people.

I don't feel I have the need to tell people my goals as a way to make sure I achieve them. I used to be that way. But reflection has shown me that it doesn't really work. I will gladly accept encouragement and love receiving it. But that is not what will keep me going. If I really need someone else to push to achieve a goal I set for myself, why would I create the goal for myself. My goals come from me, so the motivation and drive must also come from me. Selfish? Maybe. But that is me now. I must be able to rely on me. I can lean on others to help me through, but the fire must be in me first to fuel the drive to make me achieve my goals.

What are your goals? Do you have goals? I can't imagine not having goals. Even after I achieve mine, there are always more stars to reach for, more conquests, more life to live.

I have my goals written down (old school style, in a notebook). I look at them daily and remind myself why they are are important to me. I love the feeling of making that line through it. Done! WooHoo! Onward to bigger and better things. It is all possible. I can think it, so it can be done.

I will stumble, I will fail, I will struggle. I know that, but that will never be a reason to give up. Each stumble, failure and struggle is a learning experience and something that makes me stronger and more focused.

Truth Be Told

2011-01-29T22:30:00.000-08:00

Is it me, or does it seem that the truth has become an archaic idea to people today? There are two trends that I find really troublesome. One is just plain annoying and the other is alarming. Maybe, it's because I am still jaded by the recent mid-term election that had some of the worst negative ads ever or maybe I am just become more attuned to it.

The first assault on truth is the out right lie. These are easy to spot and to refute. They are created to just put a complete untruth out there with the objective to make the subject of the untruth have to refute the lie and defend themselves. Proving the statement is a lie can be easy sometimes, but can also be very difficult. The difficult ones are lies that are based on what someone "said". This is the they said/I said scenario. I have been in this position recently. The good thing about this is that the person making up the lies is eventually found out and then everything they have been saying in the past becomes suspect.

The second assault, is the use of a truth in a lie. It has become very easy to take a part of some truth and turn it into a lie. This adds a bit of credibility to the lie, making it harder to refute. Many example are taking a statement or action out of context. Someone may they didn't like a specific dish they had a restaurant. This can be turned around that the person hates the restaurant. This is a pretty benign example, but you can definitely see how much bigger, more damaging lies can be created (see many of the attack ads from the last election as an example).

Finally, a rant on something that just scares and baffles me at the same time. I call it Lying Just To Lie (LJTL). Ok, I made up that acronym. Anyway, this is when people lie for no reason (although there are very few good reasons to lie). Lying has become so common place for people like this, that it rolls off their tongues without a thought. There's no shame in it for them. No feeling of guilt or remorse. That is what scares me.

I had instilled in me by my Grandmother, one of the most honest people I have even known, that you just don't lie. You tell the truth because it is right. No other reason was necessary. When she caught any of her grandchildren lying, you could tell it hurt her. And that in turn, hurt us back.
Let me make my last remarks and then I will step down from my soap box. No matter what faith, nationality, race, age, etc. you are, truth transcends all of that. To be truthful is really human nature.

Thursday Morning Quote - April 15, 2010

2010-04-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

"Every day I live I am more convinced that the waste of life lies in the love we have not given, the powers we have not used, the selfish prudence that will risk nothing and which, shirking pain, misses happiness as well." - Mary Cholmondeley

Stuff won’t make you happy, experiences will

2010-04-13T07:00:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago, one of my favorite web sites unclutterer.com had a great post (click here) detailing something that I have believed in for a long time now: "Over one’s lifetime, it is his or her experiences that are more valuable than any product ever owned or purchased." A great site and excellent article.

Monday Morning Quote - April 12th, 2010

2010-04-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

"Patience serves as a protection against wrongs as clothes do against cold. For if you put on more clothes as the cold increases, it will have no power to hurt you. So in like manner you must grow in patience when you meet with great wrongs, and they will be powerless to vex your mind." - Leonardo da Vinci

A Call for Honesty

2010-04-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

I am so tired of fabricating stories, libel, perjury and all the other hundreds of way to describe lying. Lets just call it what it is - lying. The opposite of truth. That all important character trait that my grandmother tried to instill in me as a child.

I am making a call for honesty. Try it, you may find that it's a whole lot easier than you thought. My grandmother was a very wise woman. She would tell me "You need to tell the truth because you can never remember the lies. And then you will just create more lies." When you lie, you create a false reality; one that that never happened. Then when reality does conflict with this false reality there are two options (1) admit it and say "I lied" or (2) create another lie to cover the first.

Now both are bad, but the second is so much more destructive and dangerous. This is because the liar has now begun to bury him or herself deeper in to lie and it becomes harder and harder say "I lied" and pull themselves out. The further they go, the more likely they are to hurt other people to maintain this string of lies. It's also dangerous because the liar had now begun to build up an alternate reality and their grasp on the real reality becomes skewed.

I have seen this first hand and it is not pleasant. I have seen friends get pulled into lies and when they later find out they were lied to and used to perpetrate the lie, they end up hurt and angry.

So this is a call to just end lying. Telling the truth may hurt at first, but it's nothing compared to the pain you or others will feel when you lie. So do the right thing first.

Thursday Morning Quote - April 8, 2010

2010-04-08T07:00:00.000-07:00

"There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life -- happiness, freedom, and peace of mind -- are always attained by giving them to someone else." - Peyton Conway March

What adults can learn from kids

2010-04-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

Every parent should watch this very powerful and inspiring 8 minutes speech by Child prodigy Adora Svitak. You might think about your child a little differently.

Monday Morning Quote - April 5th, 2010

2010-04-05T07:00:00.000-07:00

"There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

The Problem with Over-Buying

2010-04-04T07:00:00.000-07:00

You may be wondering what I mean by over-buying? Well over-buying can be many things: (1) buying the 1 gallon jar of mayonnaise because it was such a great deal; (2) deciding you are going to get a new toy for your child and buying every accessory available for it at the same time; or (3) deciding you need a new computer and buying the most expensive one that has the most RAM, largest hard drive, fastest video card, biggest processor, etc.

I'll explain the exact problem with each of these things, but let me first explain the overall problems with over-buying. The first issue is that it creates a lot of unnecessary waste. We are filling up landfills at alarming speed and filling them up with plastics that will last for hundreds of years. Plastics never actually 'decompose', they merely break down into smaller and smaller pieces. Being an inorganic material, in never will compost. But I digress. The second issue is that it wastes energy. It takes a lot of energy to create the things we buy, energy to produce, energy to transport, energy store, etc. The third issue is the waste of money. I know that we have been taught that our consumption is what drives our economy, but we have seen what unchecked consumption has caused. Instead, maybe redirecting this money to have experiences instead collecting stuff. But once again, I digress. (I see another blog post, here).

So let's talk about the three problems I listed above.
First, think about when you buy a jumbo size of anything or 3 of something because when you buy 2 of them, you get a third for 50% off. Are you really saving any money? Don't you throw out most of it when it goes bad? Don't you hate storing all that extra stuff. There are times when buying in bulk makes sense, If you use a lot of batteries, buying the extra large pack saves money. But if you use that many batteries, wouldn't it be cheaper to buy rechargeable ones?
Second, when you buy something new like a game system or new new camera, you go out and buy everything to go with it. All the controllers, all the games, all the accessories, lenses, flashes, etc. But what happens? You don't use all the accessories, you play 3-5 of the games most of the time and the rest collect dust, you only use the camera as a regular camera and all the expensive extras you bought sit in the boxes they can in.
Third, you spend money to buy the biggest or best that you find. But you find out later that you don't really need it and could have bought a less powerful one for what you need.
Now, I'm not trying to berate people for buying what they buy, but I feel that people should take a step back and look at their spending and consuming habits. As for me, I would much rather have experiences (vacations, day-trips, seeing a show) than buy things that I really don't need. The experiences will stay with you so much longer than those things.

No Sympathy

2010-03-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

Why do some people feel the need to have sympathy from others? I can't understand this behavior because sympathy is not something that would want to elicit from anyone. Sympathy, in my mind, means there is something wrong and that I cannot deal with it. This is different that support, where there may be something wrong, but others support you in overcoming the challenge.

So back to my original question. I know someone that seems to need sympathy from other. So much in fact that they will create situations for the sole purpose of garnering sympathy. They will even go so far as to create fictitious stories to achieve this. A close friend told me that it is futile to try and understand this behavior as it has not rational explanation. Even trying to analyze it from an emotional view will result in the same state of futility.

Instead, I have come to the conclusion that I need to avoid this person, or if I cannot avoid them, to go into any interaction with the knowledge that sympathy is their goal and to not acknowledge it. It's not that I'm trying to be mean, it's just that present a front of dispassion will both protect me from being drawn into the drama invariably occurs and will eventually cause the other person to stop since they do not get what they want from me.

I'm still wrestling with this and I'm sure I will write more about it as time goes on and we see how this develops.

Thursday Morning Quote - March 18, 2010

2010-03-18T07:00:00.000-07:00

"People love others not for who they are but for how they make them feel" - Irwin Federman

Coming out the other side

2010-03-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

In the book Zen And the Art of Happiness, Chris Prentiss asks you to imagine that God appeared before you and said: “I promise you that everything that happens to you from this moment forward will be of the greatest benefit to you and will bring you the utmost fortune. Even though what happens will sometimes appear unfortunate or hurtful, in the end your life will be wonderfully blessed and hugely benefited by whatever happens.”

Well my life has taken a complete left turn over the last four months. Well, it's actually taken a left turn, detour and run over several potholes. I've learned a lot about myself through these few months. I've learned that you can't take anything for granted; that trust, once broken, can only be restored if the person has to want it back; and that you can find a positive in almost any situation.

I've had to do a lot of soul searching, trying to find new or re-newed meanings in my life. I'm learning to overcome pain and look out the other side to see the green meadows. This has provided me a wealth of blogging material for Strive On With Diligence, which I will be posting for months to come.

Monday Morning Quote - November 9th

2009-11-09T09:00:00.000-08:00

"To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves -- there lies the great, singular power of self-respect." - Joan Didion

Thursday Morning Quote - September 3rd

2009-09-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes we strive so hard for perfection that we forget that imperfection is happiness" - Karen Nave

Let my dataset change your mindset

2009-09-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

Doctor and researcher, Hans Rosling, presents a fascinating, and at times humorous, talk that shows how data can both break myths and clarify the world. Definitely worth the 20 minutes to watch.

Overwhelmed is not a good feeling

2009-09-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a feeling that you were just overwhelmed? You know that feeling like your list of things to get done is long and growing and the time to get things down is short and shrinking? It's not a good feeling. I'm in the middle of this at the moment.

I'm that person looking a bit haggard, juggling a dozen things, constantly looking at my task list and calendar. This has got to stop, but how? I've got stuff to do?

An former boss used an old phrase, "Too busy chopping wood to sharpen the axe." Yes, that would be my current situation. I want to step back review the processes to make them better, more efficient so that I can avoid this situation. But how can I do that when I have all this stuff to do?

Rock and hard place. Catch-22. Insanity.

I just need to look at my list and determine what is least important, what can be put off and make the time. Easier said than done, but needs to be done or I won't have any axe left and all I have is bludgeoned wood.

Monday Morning Quotes - August 31st

2009-08-31T07:00:00.000-07:00

"If you're starting out or trying to get to the next level, surround yourself with people who keep you motivated and energized - people who inspire you to achieve your best every day. When you do this, you can't lose." - Anthony Famiglietti

Monday Morning Quotes - August 24th

2009-08-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

If you learn only methods, you'll be tied to your methods, but if you learn principles you can devise your own methods. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hurtful Accusations

2009-08-22T12:00:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been accused of something you did not do? How did that make you feel? How did you react? How did you convince the other person that the accusations were not true? And most importantly, what damage was done to the relationship?

Recently, I was accused of something I did not do. The accusation was pretty serious and given with a lot emotion. I was caught off guard and stunned and they would not listen to anything I tried to say.
I had some time afterward and went through a range of emotion. First, disbelief, then anger, then sadness. Sadness, because I feel that the accusation has severly damaged our relationship. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what happened, where the accusation came from and how I can show this person that their accusations are unfound.

I keep mulling over the thought that everything I do to prove my innocence will fail. Like the man accused of murder. The facts point to him and he is convicted because the fact that proves without a doubt that he is innocent is not or cannot be presented in court.

I'm at a loss as to my next step and hurt about the entire thing. It's not something I can just ignore and hope it will go away; I have to address it. I just hope reason and calmness prevails. As to the relationship, I am not sure how it will come out on the other side.

Thursday Morning Quote - August 20th

2009-08-20T07:00:00.000-07:00

A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else. - Steve Prefontaine

Blogging Vacation

2009-08-14T07:00:00.000-07:00

I've been on a blogging vacation. Life has been a bit crazy lately and I had to focus on my family. As much as this blog is therapy for me, I had to set it aside for a few weeks until things settled down.

Even though things here are still a bit chaotic, it's calmed down to the point that I can once again get all these thoughts out of my head and out there for the world to read.

So, I've begun to write blog entries again, but probably at a much slower pace.

BTW: The picture doesn't really tie to this post, but I just cracked up when I saw it and had to share javascript:void(0)it.

Simplify Your Life: End Your Dependence On Stuff

2009-07-25T16:00:00.000-07:00

I've been a huge proponent of simplifying my life by de-cluttering, open space and just doing more with less. However, having a family that did not follow my example has been an issue. I think that is about to change.

Now, I'm not perfect, but I am always looking at what I have and am doing that creates complexity and stress in my life and how I can change it. One example is my music. I am a huge music fan (check out my music blog, Hoi Polloi Music) and have a large collection of CDs and eek! cassette tapes. These are sitting in two boxes right now. However, I listen to almost all music on-line or on my MP3 player and when I looked at all those CDs I got nostalgic: 'I haven't heard this in years', 'I forgot I had that' and 'Did I really buy that?'. So I am in the process of ripping all those CDs to MP3s and storing everything on an external 750GB hard drive. I will be able to access them easier, clear up a lot of physical space and have a nice process to catalog them in an on-line Google Spreadsheet - yeah, I'm a geek. Now I can sell all the CD's I really don't need or want to keep and can keep a handful of 'classics' (e.g. Kraftwerk's Autobahn, Mile's Davis' The Birth of Cool, Grateful Dead's American Beauty). Simplicity!

This is just one example. Now back to my story. My wife saw an episode of Oprah where they put out a challenge to families to simplify. Many of the things that these families were doing hit home, since our family is guilty of several of them. The main point was that we are teaching our children to be out of control consumerists who are obsessed with 'stuff'.

Several things hit home: Buying so many groceries that many are thrown out because they expire/spoil. The buy 2 get 1 free is not a good deal if you throw out 1 or even 2. We've been guilty of buying more than we normally use because, it's a 'great deal'. Another example is buying more toys/DVDs/clothes than we use. My kids don't play with the majority of their toys, they watch a DVD once, they grow out of clothes before they ever wear them.

So how do we change? Well that's the simple part. Buy what you need and will use. Buy less processed foods. Give away toys to charity organizations, subscribe to Netfix or spend only $3.99 on a Video-On-Demand movie (low environmental impact), buy only clothes you need now and take care of the ones you have.

The hard part is committing yourself to doing it.

I really would like to know what others are doing. Please comment. Thanks. (BTW: Here are two great sites: www.unclutterer.com and www.idealbite.com)

Thursday Morning Quote - July 16th

2009-07-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

"I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be." - Douglas Adams

Balance

2009-07-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

After listening to Philip Zimbardo's talk yesterday on how our happiness and success are rooted the way we view time, I took a long look at how I look at time. I realized that my perspective of time is out of balance, which in turn is affecting my own success and happiness.

I have begun to look at things and think about what is the best way to handle it: look to the past and take action based on that, look at the present and take action to get immediate satisfaction or results, or look to the future, look at the risk of action now versus last or no action, what addition benefit would I get by waiting or changing course now.

Now, this is not to say that I have become a calculated automaton. I am human and act based on emotions and feelings, but I have tried to add a bit of thought into it and more importantly, to be more self-reflective than before so that I can build up a 'library of results' to use as a template for future decisions.

A Healthy Take On Time

2009-07-14T07:00:00.000-07:00

Psychologist Philip Zimbardo says happiness and success are rooted in a trait most of us disregard: the way we orient toward the past, present and future. He suggests we calibrate our outlook on time as a first step to improving our lives.

Monday Morning Quote - July 13th

2009-07-13T07:00:00.000-07:00

"I have no regrets in my life. I think that everything happens to you for a reason. The hard times that you go through build character, making you a much stronger person." - Rita Mero

Time Out

2009-07-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

Everyone needs a time out. Not the kind where you are in trouble and need to sit in a corner. I mean the kind where you take time for yourself. Remove all distractions and just relax and clear you mind.

I know, you've got things to do, places to be, yadda yadda yadda. But if you don't take a small amount of time to free your mind you will wear out. We are bombarded all day long. Bombarded by people needing things, bombarded by advertising on TV, radio, internet, billboard - we may ignore it, but our brains still need to process and filter it out. Bombarded by the thoughts of everything we need to get done.

Even in sleep, our brains seem to be working. Having dreams to help us sort out the day, 'work-mares' about things at work, relationship issues, etc. We need to find a small amount of time to give it a break.

I know, you don't have time, or I can't clear my mind, or any other reason. But remember, you need to take care of you and you mind is something that you can't neglect.

Even More Things That Drive Me Nuts

2009-07-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since I ranted about things that drive me nuts. This doesn't mean the list done. People have the infinite capacity to do thing that annoy others. I'm pretty level-headed and accepting, but there are still things that get me going. Feel free to reply with the things that drive you nuts. Here we go.
1. People who water more of their driveway than their lawn. Don't you know that Southern California is in the middle of a water shortage?
2. When a television station plays the same commercial during every commercial break and will sometime show it twice during a single break. This is why I DVR shows (sorry advertisers).
3. When you ask someone a question, they give you long-winded answer but never really answer the question. Bonus if they get annoyed with you for pointing that out to them.
4. Warning Parental Rant: Parents who give their three year soda. There is nothing good in it for them and only things that can hurt them. Do you really want that much sugar and caffeine in your toddler? I actually saw a woman pour a can of coke into a kid's sippy cup for him. Sigh.
5. People who take up two parking spots. If you don't want you car near another cars because you are afraid of getting scratch or ding, park at the end of the lot and walk.

OK, I will go meditate, find my center and reconnect with my inner peace.

Thursday Morning Quote - July 9th

2009-07-09T07:00:00.000-07:00

"Unless you change how you are,you will always have what you've got." - Jim Rohn

Monday Morning Quote

2009-07-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

"Love yourself, for who and what you are; protect your dream and develop your talent to the fullest extent." - Joan Benoit Samuelson

Happy Birthday America

2009-07-04T08:30:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone has a safe and happy 4th of July. While enjoying the holiday, remember what we are celebrating. We enjoy our freedoms today because of the determination and foresight of our founding father and continue to enjoy them because of the determination and foresight of the American people since.

Thursday Morning Quote - July 2nd

2009-07-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

"The only good luck many great men ever had was being born with the ability and determination to overcome bad luck." - Channing Pollock

Monday Morning Quote - June 29th

2009-06-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

"There are countless ways of attaining greatness, but any road to reaching one's maximum potential must be built on a bedrock of respect for the individual, a commitment to excellence, and a rejection of mediocrity." - Buck Rogers, Major League Baseball player and Manager

When sorry really isn't

2009-06-28T10:30:00.000-07:00

Everyone says it. Most people mean it. But what happens when it's given off-handedly and lacks sincerity? I'm talking about 'I'm Sorry'.

Lately, I been witness to and been on the receiving end of this and it's a bit disconcerting. Something happened, which caused an issue. Nothing big mind you, but it caused something to have to be redone, which was time and effort. The other person's reply was "Oh, I'm sorry." That's it.

Now, here's the issue; this person was the cause of me having to redo the work. There was no sincerity. No real apology. No "I'm sorry that what I did is causing to redo your work. Since, it's my fault, can I help out in any way?"

The second case was when someone accidentally let go of a door they were going through and it hit the person behind them. The person just said, "Sorry" and walked off. That was it, not "Oh, I'm sorry, are you OK?" and grabbing the door to hold it for the person.

It seems that the 'manners' that were drilled into us by our parents have become just a rote action. I'm sure this was not what they intended when we were kids and they made us go back and say we're sorry to someone for something we did. They wanted to instill in us an awareness of our actions on other people and the consequences those actions cause.

We need to go back to this and think about why we said 'I'm Sorry'. If you really aren't sorry about the action you need to think about why you aren't. Are you becoming insensitive to others or uncaring. Or if you really are sorry, address the apology with more sincerity.

Can you give me some Self-Esteem, please?

2009-06-27T14:00:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week, a great question was posed on Twitter by @Lotay. He usually posts great questions that make you think. But, this question was a bit different for me, as I could not answer it in the 140 character limitation on Twitter, so I'll try to answer it here.

The question was "How do you work with people who have low self-esteem. Specifically people who seek constant praise and reassurance." The first thing that came to my mind was, "It's called SELF-esteem, so it should come from within, not have someone give it to you.". Then I pulled back and thought of the times I was down on myself and that some praise or acknowledgment from someone was able to put me back on track. In general, I am more apt to provide my own self-esteem than rely on others to provide it for me,I but see how it can come from outside yourself.

Before I can really answer this question though, I feel that we need to look into why the person has low self-esteem. Treat the cause, not just the symptoms. A person may have low self-esteem because (1) they were repeatedly told by someone that they could not do something, be someone or that they just weren't any good; (2) they had a series of events or failures that shaped their view that they can't do something or (3) they just never learned that they can succeed or that failure is not necessarily a bad thing.

The first one is the most difficult because it's embedded in them and usually requires either formal therapy with a professional therapist or informal therapy with a close trusted friend or significant other. The second is easier because you can analyze the events of failures. Take the personal aspect out of it and look at at objectively: why did it fail, what could have been done differently, what did you learn, have you used what you learned in a later success? The third is the easiest because you have a blank slate to work with. All three require work, so people are more apt to just give praise, boost the persons self esteem and move on. Then have to do it again and again.

Now back to the question. I feel that it is most important to not just give praise or encouragement and leave it at that. That's initially the easy way and will not do anything but make them come back to you for more. Sit them down and ask them how they felt it went (be it a project, task, etc.). Make them tell you. If they drift into negativity, stop them and say "OK, but tell me about what went well". Start with a positive and give praise for that, but make it start with them. Then talk about anything that did not go right. Be objective and do not criticize them personally. Make them tell you why something failed and keep them on track (no blame or negativity). Ask them if they knew then what they know now, how would they have done it differently. What have they learned.

Tell them you are looking forward not backward and that failure is not necessarily a negative. It can be a positive if you take something away from it and can apply to a future success.

I tend look to for the positives in things. My glass isn't half full, it has room for more (I credit my Grandmother for this view). I guess my bottom line is, you can't just 'deal' with people who require others to build up their self esteem, it will only lead to the need to keep doing it. Break that cycle.

I would be really interested to see what others have to say about it.

Thursday Morning Quote - June 25th

2009-06-25T12:30:00.000-07:00

"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death." - Anais Nin

Monday Morning Quote - June 22nd

2009-06-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

"Problems arise in that one has to find a balance between what people need from you and what you need for yourself." - Jessye Norman

Happy Father's Day

2009-06-21T12:00:00.000-07:00

A big Happy Father's day to all those Dads out there who strive to balance their work and family lives. There maybe those days that seem like it may be too much, but it is definitely worth it.

Don't short change the time you have and do spend with your kids. You won't get it back. Every Father's Day, I listen to Harry Chapin's Cats In The Cradle as a reminder to myself of this.

Thursday Morning Quote - June 18th

2009-06-18T09:00:00.000-07:00

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." - Herm Albright

Always look on the bright side of life

2009-06-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

I'm naturally a positive person who takes things in stride. I don't look at the situation with a negative view and dwell on the worst case scenario. I'm not going into details, but lately I've had to fight against internal issues because someone close is doing just this very thing and I can't really voice my opinion about it.

My belief is that if you look for the bad, the worst case or the negative aspects of a situation, then you are setting yourself up for ulcers. It's been told to me, "If I think of the worst case scenario and it's better than that I'll feel better." Huh? OK, let me get this straight, so you spend a day or even days fretting and worrying over something that you have no control over, not sleeping, feeling horrible so that you might feel better when it's over? Sounds like a really bad idea to me.

Maybe I'm naive, but why should we worry about something we have absolutely no control over. Now, if it something we need to prepare for (example: a hurricane is coming and you need to board up the house), then I can understand a little worry. But worrying over what will happen the house after you leave is useless in my opinion. Does worrying cause the hurricane to spare your house any damage? No, so stop it and think positively and wait for the outcome.

Life is far too short to spend it worrying about things. This doesn't mean I don't care, I do. It just means that I have made the decision to embrace the good things in life, look at my half full glass and maintain my inner balance.

Am I way off base or do others feel the same way? Also, Kudos to anyone who get's the picture.

Monday Morning Quote - June 15th

2009-06-15T09:00:00.000-07:00

"The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." - Carlos Castaneda

Failure Is Not An Option

2009-06-13T13:30:00.000-07:00

Thursday, I posted a great quote from Tom Hopkins. Tom is a sales coach, so you can image a quote like this coming from him related to sales.

But this quote can apply to life. Life is a series of failures. I fail at something everyday. Anyone who says they don't isn't true to themselves. I define "true" failure as any goal you set for yourself that you give up one. But failure can occur on the path to success. Sometimes, failures are benign. Other times, the consequences have a larger impact.

Let me give you some examples. One of my personal goals is to turn off lights whenever I leave a room, so save energy. Sometimes, I forget. This is a failure and I continue to work on it. A failure with a bigger impact is when I promise something to my daughters and don't follow through on it. Then there are those that have a huge impact. No need to elaborate on those.

I don't judge myself by failures, I judge myself by the way I handle those failures. Do I get down on myself? Do I blame others? Or do I assess the failure, learn from it, dust myself off and try to succeed again?

If I don't achieve my goal, I have not failed, I just haven't succeeded yet. Failure is not an option.

Thursday Morning Quote - June 11th

2009-06-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

"I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed: and the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I fail and keep trying." - Tom Hopkins

Monday Morning Quote - June 8th

2009-06-08T07:00:00.000-07:00

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them." - George Bernard Shaw (from the play 'Mrs Warren's Profession')

Thursday Morning Quote - June 4th

2009-06-04T07:00:00.000-07:00

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned." - Buddha

The illusion of time

2009-06-03T22:00:00.000-07:00

Have you noticed that you can control time? OK, before you write me off as officially losing my mind, hear me out.

Now everyone notices that when they are having a good time, time seems to move much more quickly than when we're not having a good time. Why does a minute with your hand sitting in luke-warm water seem so much faster than when you put your hand in ice cold water?

The reason is that time is concept in our minds. Time has always existed (or at least since the big bang). But how we perceive time is how we control it. Now, we can't bend time like a sci-fi movie. But we can alter our perception of it. We can take a boring meeting and focus our attention on something that holds our interest and make the meeting go by faster. Watch people, their reactions, how they say things. This would make things go faster and might bring you some insight.

The same is true when your having a good time and time seems to go too fast. But this is much harder to do and you may not want to do anything because, hey you're having a good time.

I realize I am jumping around, but my final point is, take a close look at how you perceive time. Once it's gone, you don't get it back. Are you making the most of it, are you using it wisely?

Final note: very interesting list '20 Things You Didn't Know About... Time' from Discover magazine.

Decluttering Catharsis

2009-06-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

There's always something deeply cleansing to my mind and spirit when I declutter something in my life. Today I spent a bit of time clearing out my closet and getting rid of some old clothes and that were worn out, I didn't need, and that I knew I wouldn't wear any more. It was a small job and did not take much time at all. But it made my closet less full and easier to get to my clothes.

Now, I am not a clutterer (is that a word?). I purge stuff quite often and like things neat. I'm not anal-retentive where things have to be perfect, but I do like order. I know people who have accumulated a lot of "stuff" over the years and cannot really tell you why they still have it, but are extremely reluctant to get rid of it.

I'm not like that, but I do have some things that I keep that I don't need to keep, but have a sentimental or emotional connection. Things like the 2006 Sport Illustrated showing the Cardinals winning the World Series, the "picture" my oldest daughters drew for me when she was three, ticket stubs to a Grateful Dead show, etc. I see these things as important. Someone who purges everything risks their life becoming sterile. But more about that in a future post. I have these mementos and things in a plastic drawer in my closet. This is the neat part of me.

Going back to the "stuff". I have known people that reached the point that they need to get rid of it. It's like the show Clean House. When they're done, there is a sense of calm and peacefulness that comes over them. Like the clutter was a weight that was on their shoulders. That is how it feels when I declutter.

If you feel stressed or overwhelmed, part of the cause may be the stuff around you. Clear some space and get rid of things you don't need. You may find the same mental relief that I feel.

Monday Morning Quote - June 1st

2009-06-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

"Hapiness can only be found if you can free yourself of all other distractions." - Saul Bellow

Blogger Distractions

2009-05-31T12:30:00.000-07:00

I haven't really blogged in a while. Things around here have been a bit crazy. I'm someone that likes a bit of routine in my day; not where everything is scheduled and scripted, but a general routine to help the day move along nicely. This last week didn't have any of that. On top of that, my mind's been focused on other, more important things and my blog had to be put on the back burner. Other things like being on twitter and blip.fm have also been set aside for the most part.

Luckily, my other blog, Hoi Polloi Music, had posts scheduled for 1 1/2 week out so it just kinda ran on it's own.

Now that things have calmed down, somewhat, I can ramp back up again. I have made notes for several posts that I plan to do over the next few weeks, so will have a regular post starting up again tomorrow.

Thank you everyone who reads my ramblings and who find the time to comment.

Thursday Morning Quote - May 28th

2009-05-28T10:00:00.000-07:00

"We must overcome the notion that we must be regular... it robs you of the chance to be extraordinary and leads you to the mediocre." - Uta Hagen

Happy Memorial Day

2009-05-26T08:39:00.000-07:00

I want to say Happy Memorial Day to all the men and women who serve in the US Armed Forces. You may not agree with sending them to war, the war itself, or the commander-in-chief who sends them. But, they are doing their job of protecting and defending us and for that I am grateful.

No more "Yeah, But"

2009-05-23T22:14:00.000-07:00

I don't get people that have a negative view of things in life. I call these people the "YeahButs" because this is the phrase many use to add their negative viewpoint to something. Let me give you an example (from a recent encounter with a YeahBut.)

Me : Supposed to be great weather for the 3-day weekend.
YeahBut: Yeah, but unfortunately it'll be wasted since I've got a lot to do around the house.

Ok, what was the purpose of that?

I would hate to go through life with this attitude. It seems so destructive and unhealthy. I struggled to figure out the reasons why some people see the world through this negative view. I think one argument has to do with age old debate nature vs. nurture debate. Some people just grow up in that environment and the behavior becomes learned. Others go through something in their lives, a divorce, death of someone close, or just a series of bad luck experiences which shapes their viewpoint. Still others just seem to be negative for no reason.

Whichever one it is, there are exceptions to this argument. How many stories do you read about or see on TV, where someone has gone through something traumatic and still maintains a positive outlook? This leads me to the final conclusion that some people have either consciously made a decision to reject the pull of the "Yeah, But" negative view and still look for the positives or are just predisposed to lean positive.

We need more people like this. We need people that more ready to jump on board, look at the positives and provide constructive criticism/insight. We need to not allow the YeahButs to make the rules, define our goals and control our destiny.

If you are a YeahBut, stop and look at what you are a doing. You're holding yourself and other back from achieving yours and their full potential. Life only give you so many chances, don't throw yours ways because of your negative view.

Thursday Morning Quote - May 21st

2009-05-21T07:00:00.000-07:00

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle

Monday Morning Quote - May 18th

2009-05-18T07:00:00.000-07:00

"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin.....
But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid.Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life." - Alfred Souza

Jumpin Jive - Cab Calloway and the Nicholas Brothers

2009-05-17T22:00:00.000-07:00

Watching this (which was done in a single shoot) reminds me how classy the old Jazz Masters were.

Take My Junk, Please

2009-05-16T22:00:00.000-07:00

Just had a garage sale this morning. Several things about garage/yard sales amaze me. First, it is amazing the junk that people will buy (shower curtain liners?). Second, people will walk away from a great deal because of $1. Someone would not buy a perfectly good DVD player for $20 and would only pay $19. But the same person paid $2 for a dirty stuffed animal. Third, why do people ask if I have anything else to sell? Ssh, I've got stuff in my house that I didn't want people to really know I was selling. Yeah, I'm sarcastic.

I actually like garage/yard sales for the pure fact that I can get rid of STUFF. I've become a person that does not want to keep things I don't use. I used to be a clutterer. Not dirty, but just stuff everywhere. Every book I owned, every receipt (organized in a file box for absolutely no reason what-so-ever) and old knick-knacks that I really didn't like, but someone gave it to me. But now, I purge. I like a clutter free dresser, nightstand, counter and table space. I like a closet that I can move the clothes out the way easily, I like... well you get the idea.

If I had my way, the driveway would have been filled with twice the amount of stuff. But like all good relationships, there is compromise.

So it's spring! Clean out those closets, garages, basements and attics. Open the space around you. You'll feel better for it.

Thursday Morning Quote - May 14th

2009-05-14T07:06:00.000-07:00

"What most people need to learn in life is how to love people and use things instead of using people and loving things." - Unknown

The price of ignorance

2009-05-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

I can't stand ignorant people. Let me make a distinction to clarify this statement. I define stupidity as not knowing something. I define ignorance as willful stupidity or choosing not to know.

I believe ignorance is created completely by fear. A racist does not like African-Americans or Latinos for no real reason, except they do not and do not want to understand them. When I say "understand them", I mean they don't want to accept they are just the same as you with a different color wrapper. They love, feel, strive, are happy and sad just like you. A sexist wants to feel superior to women because they fear what women can do. We both have equal capacity, but women can do things men can't and men can do thing women can't. This does not make on sex the "stronger sex". Guys, let it go. We need each other equally.

Now ignorant people intellectually know their view is not correct, but make the choice to ignore that intelligence. It's so gratifying when the ignorant person gives into intelligence and lets go of the fear.

It's my view that no one is "superior" to another person. A person can be superior in a skill, in intellect or wealth. But that does not make you superior to the person.

We can only solve our local, national and global problem by getting past this fear and using our intelligence the way it was meant to be used. Otherwise, we'll focus our attention of things that don't matter while we neglect the things that do matter and end up destroying ourselves.

Monday Morning Quote - May 11th

2009-05-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

"Often the fear of one evil leads us into a worse." - Nicolas Boileau

Thank you Mom!

2009-05-10T22:00:00.000-07:00

A simple thank you to my Mom. You always believed in us kids even when we didn't believe ourselves.

10 more things that drive me nuts

2009-05-08T22:00:00.000-07:00

In March I posted 10 things that drive me nuts. Apparently, there are many more things that just get under my skin, too.

Things people say:
1) "Is so-and-so here? No? Well, then maybe you can help." Great, I'm your second choice.
2) "Bob and myself will do it". No, it's "Bob and I will do it".
3) When people say "Let me know if I can do anything to help" and then make excuses why they can't when you actually ask.
4) Mind if I interrupt, "OK, since you already have..."
5) People who say "you know" all the time.

Things people do:
1) Turn on their blinker as they are turning. It's as if they're saying, "Hey, just wanted to let you know I'm turning." Well, duh?
2) Leave a small trace of coffee in the coffee pot, so they won't have to make a new pot. You there at my work, you know who you are.
3) Don't wash their hands after going to bathroom. Didn't you mother teach you?
4) Always have to have the last word. These are the people that will always try to send the last text message, IM or email even when they don't need to. The most annoying was someone that would always respond to a thank you with "No, thank you."
5) Throw cigarette butts out the window. First, Don't Litter! Second, I live in Southern California and we have wildfires, so if you do that, you're an idiot.

Thursday Morning Quote - May 7th

2009-05-07T10:00:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we were to go through our life without any obstacles, we would be crippled. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Give every opportunity a chance, leave no room for regrets."- Unknown

Hang in there! 9 life lessons from rock climbing

2009-05-06T10:00:00.000-07:00

Veteran rock climber Matthew Childs shares nine pointers for rock climbing. I love how he takes these rock climbing rules and explains how they can be applied to life.

Lifestyle Changes

2009-05-05T22:00:00.000-07:00

I have two people very close to me who are experiencing big health issues. Now I've been blessed with very good health throughout my life, but this has made me look at me much closer. It hit me that I've let myself slide over the last six months or so. I've allowed myself to focus on helping others (not a bad thing at all), but have neglected helping myself.

Now, I don't have any health issue or problems, but I feel unhealthy. And when my body is telling me that, that's my wake up call. I am adding focus on me into every day. Getting back to my running/basketball/swimming shape and improving my spiritual focus. I'm not a religious person, so what I mean by spiritual is internal balance and harmony, not doctrine.

I am very motivated when I get it stuck in my head to do something, so I confident I can regain my old form. What I need to do is build in a structure so that I maintain that for the rest of my life. I've far too much still to do to let life wander on by.

If you are feeling the same way, then do something about. The Nike ad 'Just Do It' was brilliant becausejavascript:void(0) in those three word, it sums up what you need to do. Don't plan when you're going to do it, Just Do It. Don't make excuses why you can't. Just Do It. Well that is what I am doing. Thanks for listening.

Monday Morning Quote - May 4th

2009-05-04T07:00:00.000-07:00

"There are three methods to gaining wisdom. The first is reflection, which is the highest. The second is imitation, which is the easiest. The third is experience, which is the bitterest." - Confucius

The power of "No."

2009-05-03T22:00:00.000-07:00

"No" is very powerful word. It's a hard word for many to say since it's a negative. I've been slowly learning the power of this 2 letter word and am learning to use it judicially. Let me explain.

In the past, I was one of those people who would accept a job, project, etc. because of the the challenge and I didn't it to appear like I couldn't do it. But, I was only setting myself up for failure. When you accept everything that is sent your way, you can only handle it for so long. I've recently had much more on my plate than it could handle. Things fall off, things run together. In a nutshell, it's a mess.

After a process of several internal discussions (yes I do talk to myself), I saw the problem. I can't make the plate bigger, so I need to limit what is on it. Surprisingly, I have found that a "No" delivered with honesty and explanation is accepted pretty well.

I'm a work in progress and still trying to get through this maze of life, but I think I've found one the keys to a locked door.

Fail, Fail Again.

2009-05-02T07:30:00.000-07:00

Failure is not a bad thing. It's got a bad rap over the years. But if you look at failure from a different perspective, you'll see the power failure brings. President Barack Obama has a great quote about failure "Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it's not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won't. it's whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere."

Use failure as a vehicle to perform better, to push yourself further or harder, or to overcome what was previous thought insurmountable. Edison failed thousands of time trying to perfect the light bulb. James Dyson failed thousands of times creating the Dyson vacuum. One of my favorites is Richard Branson (Virgin, Virgin Atlantic, etc.) He does not fear failure. When he fails, he uses what he has learned and applies it to his next venture.

Failure can be painful. But do not look at it like failure, instead look at it as a positive learning experience and motivation. That being said, you must handle failure intelligently. A fly banging against a glass window, failing to get through, banging again over and over until it dies is not a smart way to deal with failure. Look at the failure and learn from it. That is the key. Granted a fly does not have much mental facilities, but let's say we're the fly. Bang! We hit the window. We look at it, maybe try again. OK, we can't get through, let's look for an alternative - an open window or waiting for someone to open the door or window.

If you let failure lead you down the pity road; "I'll never do it", "I can't do it", "It's to hard", "I'm not good enough", then that is exactly what it will be. Surprisingly, your brain actually listens to you. Don't fall into that trap. Tell yourself "OK, what did I learn", "What worked and didn't", "What can I change", "Let me look at this from another perspective".

Then you are on the road to success. If success was so easy, everyone would be doing it. If something requires hard work and dedication, it's more meaningful and worth it. Someone once told me, "Do not let your failures define you". True, but add "Let the failures define you successes".

Hey buddy can you spare an ear?

2009-05-01T23:00:00.000-07:00

Recently a good friend lent me an ear. He was there to listen to me unload all the weight on my mind. He didn't just let me vent/release. He wouldn't take no, when I was hesitant to talk. He listened, unjudgmentally.

I needed it as I'm more inclined to internalize the stress and deal with it. But I need to get it out. It felt good to vocalize the stress and frustrations that had been building. You know who you are, so a big thank you for pushing me to sit down and talk.

I hope you all out there have someone that will be there for you.

Thursday Quote - April 30th

2009-04-30T21:30:00.000-07:00

"Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves." - Walter Anderson (American artist)

Baseball mirrors life

2009-04-28T22:00:00.000-07:00

I love baseball. Everything about it. The ballpark, the sound of the ball off the bat, the cheering crowd, the numbers and the strategy. It mirror life: There are the highs - a towering home run and lows - striking out with bases loaded.

I was watching the Cardinals - Braves game last night (Go Cards!) and looked at the strategy that two of the winningest managers in baseball history employ and made me think about how baseball is like life.

Baseball: Do you leave a pitcher in to try and get the last out of the inning or bring in a reliever.
Life: Do you stick with a plan and gut through it or change plans?

Baseball: Do you take the risk of putting in a defensive replacement and take out a hot bat?
Life: Do you switch to a more secure option or stay with the what got you there.

Baseball: Do you study the runner on first and see he takes his time going back to bag after each pitch and do a quick snap throw to first to nab him?
Life: Do you study the situation and see an there is someone not doing a job well, step in and take that opportunity away from them?

I could go on. I know you may not see things the way I do or don't like baseball. But look at things around you and see how connected they are to you. From the way the rain cleans the landscape to the way traffic moves on a busy interestion. You can take these and find parallels to your life. Look inward and see what you are really made of.

Monday Morning Quote - April 27

2009-04-27T07:00:00.000-07:00

"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built." - Eleanor Roosevelt

The terrible habit of the Exaggeration

2009-04-26T12:00:00.000-07:00

Ok, time for me to rant about a pet peeve: Exaggeration. Now I understand using exaggeration to get across an idea or feeling, such as "I'm freezing" or "It's a million degrees outside". But when someone uses this to excess, it just becomes and irratant in a conversation and quick becomes a conversation stopper for me.

I know someone that uses this all the time. It has become so common place with them that I really don't like conversations with them. Everything is more than it seems. In a series of conversations, they were burning up, so tired they can't think straight, it was the cutest thing in the world, they are the nicest person ever, don't like a certain food since it's the most disgusting thing in the world and didn't like a show since it was the worst show ever.

Now these kinds of statements make me want to say to them "Wow burning up! We need to get you to the hospital, that sounds painful. So tired you can't think straight? That must be why you don't make any sense." Yes, I can really be sarcastic, but I didn't say it. However, the conversation was quickly over, since I really didn't want to hear any more.

I wonder why people use exaggeration so much, or to exaggerate - Every time :)

Is it that they do not know how to explain something without it. Do they feel that when they talk like this, it impresses people? Well, let me tell you, that it does not. Think about what your saying, how you say it and how others interpret what you say. Do you exaggerate to much? Do you know someone that does?

Down with Hypocrisy!

2009-04-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

I have an acquaintance that is a full red-blooded hypocrite. Anytime this person is called out on they get extremely defensive, make excuses and turn it around like it's my problem.

It's quite frustrating to deal with this type of behavior. If I was hypocritical, I would appreciate someone pointing it out. I strive to be true to myself as well as others.

Let me give you an example. This person completely dressed down someone for being judgmental, explaining that it's bad, that you can't make judgments about someone based on generalizations, lack of knowledge etc. Then less than an hour later, says "Look at the woman over there, I can't believe she's just letting her children act like that. Some people shouldn't have children." When I pointed out that it looks like they're not her kids since they're calling her by her name and not Mom, this person said "Well, that's good since she probably shouldn't have kids."

Hypocrisy is a damaging trait. Some people don't see the hypocrisy in the things they say or do, others choose to ignore it, still others use it as a tool to feel superior to others. Anyway that it's used, I implore you to stop. If you cannot be honest with yourself, you cannot expect others to be honest with you.

Thursday Morning Quote - April 23rd

2009-04-23T07:00:00.000-07:00

"Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music." - Angela Monet

Use technology to make us more human, not less

2009-04-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

A quick, funny and poignant three minute talk about the anti-social aspects of smartphones. How many of you are guilty of this?

Monday Morning Quote - April 20th

2009-04-20T07:00:00.000-07:00

"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." - Will Rogers, Autobiography, 1949

Entropy rules! Time for a coup

2009-04-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

Apparently the law of entropy is alive and well in my house. If you don't know what entropy is, it's "a measure of the disorder or randomness in a closed system." In essence, everything is moving toward a state of chaos. Describes things here pretty well right now.

I won't go into the details, but suffice to say that it's not a really good situation to be in when you're trying to calm your mind. Right now, mine is quite exhausted and a tired mind is not a good one. I need to find some "me" time to just sit and rest and push all the distractions out, even if for a short while.

It's a stuggle, but if it was easy, everyone would be doing it. When I achieve my state of nirvana (or at least peacefulness), it will all be worth it.

Lesson from the doves

2009-04-18T11:56:00.000-07:00

We have a dove's nest in out backyard. They built it behind a plant on the patio. Probably to hide from the crows and hawks. Every day at 5:00, the male dove flies in and waits on the fence. The female then flies off (my guess is to get a break from egg sitting, get something to eat and I'm sure her back is killing her). When the female takes off, the male comes in and sits on the nest until the female come back.
What great teamwork Now, if more couples can work so nicely together.

Thursday Morning Quote - April 16th

2009-04-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

"Every morning you are handed 24 golden hours. They are one of the few things in this world that you get free of charge. If you had all the money in the world, you couldn't buy an extra hour. What will you do with this priceless treasure? Remember, you must use it, as it is given only once. Once wasted you cannot get it back." - Anonymous

More on stress

2009-04-15T23:00:00.000-07:00

Stress continues to mount. I find myself reacting due to stress more than before.

This is what stress will do to you. Stopping and performing a self diagnostic of yourself and the situation is the first step. What is causing my stress? Is it under my control? Can it be avoided? Can it be approached? What is a better way to deal with it? Ask yourself a lot of questions. Write it down. I usually write it down and walk away for a bit then come back. When I write it down, it forces me to focus my attention on it and I can see the bigger picture of what it does to me.

I'm approaching it first physically. I am finding time to meditate. This relieves the burden on my body that stress creates. I slow my hear rate and breath. Calm my mind. Let the tension wash away. I feel this is key since the physical manifestations of stress will hinder the process of reducing or eliminating it.

Once I'm in that state I can look at the stress factors more clearly. After I am in this state, I find that many times what I originally saw as a huge issue, problem or situation, is not really that big. I can see the cause better and a solution more clearly.

I'm a work in progress.

Slowly trying to slow down

2009-04-14T07:00:00.000-07:00

Stress is everywhere. It hits you from the moment you wake up. Decisions must be made, tasks that must be completed, choices, actions, etc. Today's world keeps throwing things at us faster and faster. Last week I posted a video from TED by Carl Honore who talked about slowing down. I've tried to do this in my life and man, is it hard. How can I slow things down when people need things from me and I have to get stuff done.

I will keep trying because when I do slow down, I can feel the difference. Things come into focus and I can seem to grasp more of what's going on. Keeping this going is a bit harder, but it's a work in progress. I have too much stress in my life and I need to let it roll off me better and manage it rather than it manage me.

Monday Morning Quote - April 13th

2009-04-13T07:00:00.000-07:00

Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities. - Aldous Huxley

Blog Retread

2009-04-12T21:30:00.000-07:00

Took a break today, so decided to recycle a post on Easter I wrote last year. Check it out: Easter - The Second Class Holiday.

That Song in My Head

2009-04-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

Ever had a song stuck in your head? Of course you have. I have one now. I keep humming it. Why hum? Well, it's in French and I don't speak French. So I had to think, why would I have a song stuck in my head when I don't even know the words?

Simple, music is a universal language. Music taps into something deep inside people. It brings together people of different ages, races, languages, tribes, genders, religions, etc. How many times have you listened to something and your mood changes.

Music is a part of me. I love to have music on all the time. Different music for different moods and needs. I don't put down anyone for the music they listen to. I may not like their music, but I look at it as a personal choice that is above reproach.

What do you do with your music? Is it just there, or does it mean more to you.

Change does not just happen

2009-04-10T07:00:00.000-07:00

Change requires action. That much is pretty simple. If you want change to occur, you must actually do something. You won't get a job, sitting on the sofa. You won't lose weight without changing your diet and exercising. You won't become wealthy just doing your normal job.

A second important factor is the level of effort required for change. Some change can be achieved with a small amount of effort. You want to eat healthier, so you make a lunch instead of picking up fast food. But, for the change to have a much larger impact, a larger effort is required. We marvel at people who display a tremendous effort to create change: Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, Cesar Chavez, Martin Luther King. The list is long. All displayed a tenacity beyond what a normal people would do and the fruits of that effort can be seen today.

Now I want to talk about personal change. Looking deep into yourself and seeing something that you want to change, taking the action and putting forth the effort the create that change. Many people won't take these steps and stay mired in the situation that they are currently in and become despondent.

Why is that some people can grab the bootstraps , pull themselves up and reach great heights and others cannot? One simple answer: they have internalized that need for change and told themselves there is no other option. They took a holistic approach. The change is not something that happens to them or is created by them. They are the change.

Why am I writing about this? I know someone who is dealing with this right now. They must make a life change. They must take action and it will be hard, but the rewards are great. However, they are paralyzed with indecision and fear. I can't make them change, they must make themselves change. But how to get someone to that point. I'm not sure, but will be there for them when they are ready.

Thursday Morning Quote - April 9th

2009-04-09T07:00:00.000-07:00

"Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters" - Albert Einstein

Thank you to Ali for the quote.

Are You Experienced?

2009-04-08T07:00:00.000-07:00

I recently read an article that said 'psychological research suggests that, in the long run, experiences make people happier than possessions.' Now without really thinking of it that way, I believe I have felt this same thing. I would much rather spend my money on tickets to a baseball game, play, concert or short weekend trip than something more material. A very insightful friend once told me, "The things you buy will break, become out dated, wear down, collect dust and be forgotten. But the things you do, the people you meet, the joys and yes pains you have will stay with you forever."

How many people are changed or experience true personal growth by buying a new HDTV? Don't you think they will gain more out of life by taking a surf class, going on a trip to Europe, or something as simple as going to the park with your kids and having a picnic.

Stop, slow down and look at what really matters. That is what will be there in 10, 20 , 50 years; not the TV. Let someone else be the Jones' and have all the newest and biggest things. You'll have something they don't and wish they did. True happiness.

Slowing Down in a World Built for Speed

2009-04-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

This an incredible talk by Carl Honore at TED from 2005. Watch this and think about all the things in your life that you are missing because you move through it much to quickly. Slow down for about 20 minutes and watch. I think it will have a positive impact on you.

Monday Morning Quote - April 6th

2009-04-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

We can not live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men. --Herman Melville

Mourning the loss of gratitude, but not giving in

2009-04-05T07:00:00.000-07:00

I had to go the local mall recently. A mall is great place to people watch as the diversity of people is amazing. I observe people, their behavior and their interactions with others. While there, I noticed a severe lack (or loss) of gratitude.

What I noticed is that people did not seem to thank or even acknowledge people for things they do. Or they do it by rote with no true sense of gratitude. In a world that is moving faster, we are becoming more impersonal. I, though, am not about to let the state of the world have this kind of effect on me. It is exactly because the state of the world that it is important that we look to reaffirm our bonds with others.

I have seen the happiness, pleasure and even shock when I give genuine gratitude. Saying 'Thank you, Ellen' with eye contact and a smile to the waitress when she refills your drink. Saying 'Your welcome, glad to do it' instead of 'No problem' to the person whom you hold a door for. It takes so little effort to do this and the rewards are so great; both for the other person and for you.

Try it and see how it make you feel. Maybe it will make the other person do it to the next person they see. A sort of gratitude pay it forward.

Changing my perception

2009-04-04T09:00:00.000-07:00

I've had a long month this week. Ever have one of the weeks that seems like it took forever to get to Friday night? It always amazed me how time can be manipulated by our perception. You know how this works. When you're having a great time, time flies by. When you just want something to finish, time just crawls by. It's all based on perception, since time move forward at the same speed.

Now, if how we view the situation affects how time progresses in our perception, can we change other aspects of our life just by changing our perception of things? I'm sure we can. I spoke about this in a post last year. But want to think about it in more detail.

Let's think of a few examples. You meet someone new, instead of unconsciously creating a perception of them, say to yourself, this a very nice person whom I'd like to meet. If you go into the greeting with this mental picture, it may change the entire conversation and introduction. Let's take this further. You have a meeting with several co-workers. You are not looking forward to the meeting and know the others aren't either. But there is a task or project that must be done. Instead of going into the meeting with the view 'OK, let's get through this'. Walk into the room and say in positive upbeat voice, 'OK, let's get to work on this so we can achieve our goals and make this a success.'. I'm sure some people will look at you and think, 'Yeah, right.' But, if you run the entire meeting with this attitude, the others will pick up on it and their perception of the task will change, in essence making the probability for the the project to be success go up.

Now, I'm not saying go through life in a Polyanna state. But small changes in your mental approach to things can create huge positive results.

The Music has moved on

2009-04-03T12:00:00.000-07:00

I am no longer doing a New Music Friday post. Instead, I have created a new web site, Hoi Polloi Music where I post a new song everyday with an embedded music player to listen to the song directly from the site. Please go check it out and tell my what you think. I hope you enjoy it.

Thursday Morning Quote - April 2nd

2009-04-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

"Use goals not as ends in themselves but as stepping stones. When you reach 80 percent of your long-range goal, reset it."
- Dr. Linda Bunker, Sports Psychologist

You deserve it? I don't think so....

2009-04-01T22:30:00.000-07:00

I feel I have had instilled in me a strong belief that you are not entitled to things, but that you earn them. In today's world, I look around and see so many people with a sense of entitlement and see that this completely limits their ability to improve, grow or develop. In addition, this hurts those around them.

Let me try to explain what I mean by sense of entitlement, why it is wrong and damaging and what can be done to change it.

A sense of entitlement means that you should get or receive something just because you exist. So in essence, you should not have to work for it. Now you may argue, you're entitled to things like air, well yes, but isn't it also true that it is being polluted, so you need to fight to keep it clean so it's breathable. I digress, let's stay on track here.

Now that you understand what I mean by sense of entitlement, let me explain why I believe it is bad. First, your belief that you are entitled to something means that someone else must provide it for you. This automatically puts the other person or people in a lesser or servant role to you. You are entitled to a good job, means that someone must give it to you. Does this make sense? No. You should earn the job because you have developed the skills or show a great aptitude to succeed at the job. Second, if you feel entitled to something, you will always end up disappointed. Other people will not live up to your standards for them. Sorry, this is just an idiotic idea. You should set the standards for yourself and strive to achieve those. Third, people will do things either for pleasure or pain (see prior post). They will do something for you if it makes them happy or they do it to avoid some pain. Having somebody do something for you because you feel you are entitled to it most likely means the person is doing it to avoid pain. How long will someone do that?

Here's how to change it. It quite simple really. You are in charge of yourself. You set goals for yourself. You achieve things for yourself. In the end, you will a much happier, independent and confident person. Please comment, I want to know what you think. Thanks for listening.

Why me?

2009-03-31T13:00:00.000-07:00

Just read a great article about falling into the trap of self pity. It said when you ask "why me" you allow yourself to be forced into a corner, the "why me" corner. There is a much bigger picture to look at than just that corner. It is easy to understand how we allow ourselves to get stuck in the corner. In many ways it is a natural reaction. That is all that "why me" is, a reaction. Instead of reacting to life, slow down, and take a look at the entire picture.

So instead of allowing yourself to be pushed into that corner, pull back and witness your life. See the entire picture.
- What choices and actions did I take that may have contributed to my current situation?
-What lessons can I learn?
-What choices and actions can I take from here that will lead me to a better place?

Don't wallow. Don't look for someone to blame. Don't look to someone to pull you out or rescue you.

It's your choice, so make it. You are never left without a choice. Step back, look at the big picture, make your choice and go forward. You may fail, pick yourself up, step back, look at the big picture, make your choice... See a pattern?

Remember, as I Ching put it, "The event is not important, but the response to the event is everything."

Monday Morning Quote - March 30th

2009-03-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

"There is a soul force in the universe which, if we permit it, will flow through us and produce miraculous results."
- Mahatma Gandhi

courtesy of Tatiana Escalada

Did You Know?

2009-03-29T08:00:00.000-07:00

This is something that will really make you think. Tell me what you think. (Thank you Ali for the original link.)

It's more of a condo than a car! (UPDATED)

2009-03-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

Ooooh. I want one! I'll be the coolest kid on the beach.