19 March 2010

No Sympathy

Why do some people feel the need to have sympathy from others? I can't understand this behavior because sympathy is not something that would want to elicit from anyone. Sympathy, in my mind, means there is something wrong and that I cannot deal with it. This is different that support, where there may be something wrong, but others support you in overcoming the challenge.

So back to my original question. I know someone that seems to need sympathy from other. So much in fact that they will create situations for the sole purpose of garnering sympathy. They will even go so far as to create fictitious stories to achieve this. A close friend told me that it is futile to try and understand this behavior as it has not rational explanation. Even trying to analyze it from an emotional view will result in the same state of futility.

Instead, I have come to the conclusion that I need to avoid this person, or if I cannot avoid them, to go into any interaction with the knowledge that sympathy is their goal and to not acknowledge it. It's not that I'm trying to be mean, it's just that present a front of dispassion will both protect me from being drawn into the drama invariably occurs and will eventually cause the other person to stop since they do not get what they want from me.

I'm still wrestling with this and I'm sure I will write more about it as time goes on and we see how this develops.

18 March 2010

Thursday Morning Quote - March 18, 2010

"People love others not for who they are but for how they make them feel" - Irwin Federman

17 March 2010

Coming out the other side

In the book Zen And the Art of Happiness, Chris Prentiss asks you to imagine that God appeared before you and said: “I promise you that everything that happens to you from this moment forward will be of the greatest benefit to you and will bring you the utmost fortune. Even though what happens will sometimes appear unfortunate or hurtful, in the end your life will be wonderfully blessed and hugely benefited by whatever happens.”

Well my life has taken a complete left turn over the last four months. Well, it's actually taken a left turn, detour and run over several potholes. I've learned a lot about myself through these few months. I've learned that you can't take anything for granted; that trust, once broken, can only be restored if the person has to want it back; and that you can find a positive in almost any situation.

I've had to do a lot of soul searching, trying to find new or re-newed meanings in my life. I'm learning to overcome pain and look out the other side to see the green meadows. This has provided me a wealth of blogging material for Strive On With Diligence, which I will be posting for months to come.