31 March 2009

Why me?

Just read a great article about falling into the trap of self pity. It said when you ask "why me" you allow yourself to be forced into a corner, the "why me" corner. There is a much bigger picture to look at than just that corner. It is easy to understand how we allow ourselves to get stuck in the corner. In many ways it is a natural reaction. That is all that "why me" is, a reaction. Instead of reacting to life, slow down, and take a look at the entire picture.

So instead of allowing yourself to be pushed into that corner, pull back and witness your life. See the entire picture.
- What choices and actions did I take that may have contributed to my current situation?
-What lessons can I learn?
-What choices and actions can I take from here that will lead me to a better place?

Don't wallow. Don't look for someone to blame. Don't look to someone to pull you out or rescue you.

It's your choice, so make it. You are never left without a choice. Step back, look at the big picture, make your choice and go forward. You may fail, pick yourself up, step back, look at the big picture, make your choice... See a pattern?

Remember, as I Ching put it, "The event is not important, but the response to the event is everything."

30 March 2009

Monday Morning Quote - March 30th

"There is a soul force in the universe which, if we permit it, will flow through us and produce miraculous results."
- Mahatma Gandhi

courtesy of Tatiana Escalada

29 March 2009

Did You Know?

This is something that will really make you think. Tell me what you think. (Thank you Ali for the original link.)

28 March 2009

It's more of a condo than a car! (UPDATED)

Ooooh. I want one! I'll be the coolest kid on the beach.

27 March 2009

New Music Friday - March 27th

I wasn't able to get my list up last week.
Crazy busy!
So to make up for it, I put together a nice Friday list you. Yes, you there, I did it just for you and no one else. Hey! that other person looking at this, this isn't for you, but you can listen anyway. Enjoy.

Breaks Co-op - The Otherside
Bryan Ferry - It's All Over Now Baby Blue
Dean Martin - Ain't That A Kick In The Head
Little Milton - Grits Ain't Groceries
New World Spirits - Bed (can't find online stream. If you find one please post it in comment)
Randy Travis - King Of The Road
The Flowerpot Men - Beat City
The Refreshments - Banditos
The Sugarplastic - Novelty Man
Willie Nelson - Whiskey River

22 March 2009

10 things that drive me nuts

I'm not one to keep things bottled up. I let things go fairly easily (certain exceptions apply). But there are things that keep coming that just bug me.

Things people say:
1) "Irregardless" - People, this is not a real word. It's 'regardless'.
2) "I'm calling you to say.... "- Ok, I know you calling me, because, hey, you're calling me. You don't have to tell me that.
3) "I shouldn't tell you this, but.." - Ok, then don't.
4) Pronouncing the word "Ask" as "ax".
5) This is what people don't say - "Thank you". Show some courtesy and say it more often.

Things people do:
1) Leave lights on when they leave a room. Please conserve energy!
2) Throw trash out of a car window. Or even just throwing trash anywhere.
3) Leave an empty toilet paper roll. C'mon, how hard is it to replace it.
4) Don't use blinkers. I could rant about this, but won't.
5) People who talk on a cell phone, think no one else can hear them and tell everybody within earshot about the results of their lastest medical test.

Ahhh, I feel better, now. Thanks for listening.

17 March 2009

Boy, you're gonna carry that weight

We all carry the weight of things in the past. I have spent some time recently thinking about the weight that I'm carrying. Things that have happened to me, around me, to others close to me. I realized that there is no use in carrying it around. It's the past. It's gone. Move forward. Live now, not then.

So what brought on this exercise in self realization. Actually, a very short fable. I read it and it hit me hard. I love it when I read something and I have to stop, literally. These are the events that take me down a new path.

Here's the story. Let me what you think.

Two traveling monks reached a town where there was a young woman waiting to step out of her sedan chair. The rains had made deep puddles and she couldn't step across without spoiling her silken robes. She stood there looking very cross and impatient. She was scolding her attendants. They had nowhere to place the packages they held for her, so they couldn't help her across the puddle.
The younger monk notices the woman, said nothing, and walked by. The older monk quickly picked her up and put her on his back, transported her across the water, and put her down on the other side. She didn't thank the older monk, she just pushed him out of the way and departed.
As they continued on their way, the young monk was brooding and preoccupied. After several hours, unable to hold his silence, he spoke out. "That woman back there was very selfish and rude, but you picked her up on your back and carried her! Then she didn't even thank you!"
"I set the woman down hours ago," the older monk replied. "Why are you still carrying her?"

08 March 2009

No more drama, please

Read a great post over on the Stress Blog. Great because it had something important to say and great because it was short and to the point.

"Don't turn an event into an incident.
Don't turn an incident into a drama.
Don't turn a drama into a crisis.
Don't turn a crisis into a catastrophy.
Don't turn a catastrophy into a cataclysm.
And definetly, definetly NEVER turn a cataclysm into an apocalypse!"

I like to think of myself as pretty even keeled. I've had people ask me why I'm not upset about something. I tell them, "Is there anything that would be accomplished if I got upset?" Almost every time, the answer is No. But they still think I should. I look at it this way, "I can solve the issue, take care of the crisis or avert the catastrophe by remaining calm. Yes, I may be upset, but to let it bubble up and cloud my judgment makes no sense to me.

Don't become emotionless, have emotion, but control them, don't them them control you. You usually regret it.

03 March 2009

Play nice, people!

Everyone knows this phrase "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" from the bible. There are many more secular ways to state it and variations, but I like "Treat others like you would like them to treat you."

Every major religion has some form of this Golden Rule as do most philosophies. So, if the deity of your choice and our own cognitive ability comes up with this same idea, why the hell don't people do it?

It makes perfect sense. I want this person to be nice to me, so I should be nice to them. Simple. I was talking to someone that was absolutely floored when they found out their significant other cheated on them. They couldn't believe it, they were hurt. I said, "But you also cheated on them." Their reply, "That's not the point". Huh?

I learned very early in life that people can be mean or cruel. But I also learned that if you are nice to them, they tend not to act this way to you. If they did even after I was nice, well, then I moved on. I evolved, they didn't.

Can you image how much the world would be different if people actually applied this philosophy? sit there for a moment and think about it. Staggering, huh?

I suggest you try this philosophy in your life for two weeks. Notice the change in you and the change in those around you. Let me know what happens.

01 March 2009

Why Lie?

I caught someone in a lie. It surprised me because there was absolutely no reason to lie. There were no negative consequences, nobody got hurt, nothing broken. But there it was, a big fat lie.

The other person did not know I knew they were lying. I was privy (love that word) to information they did not know I knew. I let it go. Not because I wanted to, but because I was too stunned to say or doing anything. So I dumbly, said, 'Uh, ok. Thanks.'

Why do people lie. I know people do it to avoid something, to make themselves seem more than they are, to hide something. Each of these makes sense; it doesn't make it right, though.

I have found that a lying will really screw you up. When you lie, your heart rate increases (not the good exercise kind) , which is what can get picked up in a lie detector test. You become more anxious and worried. Then add to to that when you have to create a second lie to cover the first. Now your brain is swirling and the cycle continues.

My grandmother had a great statement when you were going to say something and forgot, "It must have been a lie. You can always remember truths, but you forget the lies'. Some people can remember them and they are the dangerous ones. But the rest of the people who lie, forget exactly what the lie was and get caught.

It's always worse to get caught in a lie than to tell the truth outright, lake the lump and move on. Deed done, issue past, heart rate steady. Now, to get back to this person who lied. My first thought afterward was "Why?" After racking my brain for days, I think I have it. Some people lie so often about things that it becomes instinctual.

Let me give you tow examples of what this person does and it may make sense. They buy something and 2 weeks later they drop it and it breaks. They go and buy another, put the first broken one back in the box and return it saying it does not work and they want their money back. I don't know about you but that is lying. Another example: they routinely lie to their friends when they don't really want to go out. They make up a story about why they cannot.

It's now habitual, they don't even think about, the lie just comes out. Now, I am second guessing everything they say to me and I wonder if it's a lie or the truth. I'm not happy about it and trying to work on a way to address this with them.

Bottom line: Don't lie.