01 March 2009

Why Lie?

I caught someone in a lie. It surprised me because there was absolutely no reason to lie. There were no negative consequences, nobody got hurt, nothing broken. But there it was, a big fat lie.

The other person did not know I knew they were lying. I was privy (love that word) to information they did not know I knew. I let it go. Not because I wanted to, but because I was too stunned to say or doing anything. So I dumbly, said, 'Uh, ok. Thanks.'

Why do people lie. I know people do it to avoid something, to make themselves seem more than they are, to hide something. Each of these makes sense; it doesn't make it right, though.

I have found that a lying will really screw you up. When you lie, your heart rate increases (not the good exercise kind) , which is what can get picked up in a lie detector test. You become more anxious and worried. Then add to to that when you have to create a second lie to cover the first. Now your brain is swirling and the cycle continues.

My grandmother had a great statement when you were going to say something and forgot, "It must have been a lie. You can always remember truths, but you forget the lies'. Some people can remember them and they are the dangerous ones. But the rest of the people who lie, forget exactly what the lie was and get caught.

It's always worse to get caught in a lie than to tell the truth outright, lake the lump and move on. Deed done, issue past, heart rate steady. Now, to get back to this person who lied. My first thought afterward was "Why?" After racking my brain for days, I think I have it. Some people lie so often about things that it becomes instinctual.

Let me give you tow examples of what this person does and it may make sense. They buy something and 2 weeks later they drop it and it breaks. They go and buy another, put the first broken one back in the box and return it saying it does not work and they want their money back. I don't know about you but that is lying. Another example: they routinely lie to their friends when they don't really want to go out. They make up a story about why they cannot.

It's now habitual, they don't even think about, the lie just comes out. Now, I am second guessing everything they say to me and I wonder if it's a lie or the truth. I'm not happy about it and trying to work on a way to address this with them.

Bottom line: Don't lie.

1 comment:

The Queen said...

Okay, I have to admit...I've told a few little white lies. I've never really lied to look 'better' or to seen 'bigger' but I have lied to avoid from hurting someone's feelings. :(